10 months ago inno category

How I met your father

Author:

AllTheBoysIveFckedB4

sexy image

I’ve danced around this a lot and wrote about the first time we fucked, but I never really went into the mountains of sexual tension that came before.

*I have a really hard time writing about my husband… As someone on here pointed out, it’s actually far more vulnerable for me than just writing about my past sex life.*

Certain things in my life had fallen into place by the time this story took place. My career was taking off, I had started therapy, and I acknowledged a few things about myself, including the fact that I was indeed addicted to sex and used it for validation.

*My therapist was fascinated by me. You know it’s bad when you shock a psychiatrist.*

So as a result, I had been spending a lot of time “dating myself.” I wasn’t living totally like a monk, but I stopped compulsively seducing people and spent more time alone.

I wasn’t entirely a garbage human before, but I wasn’t taking great care of myself. I was reckless and hurt a lot of people with my inability to appropriately bond.

*See what I did there? That was a therapy term.*

Meanwhile, my future husband was certainly not living like a monk. He was young, hot, and has always had this incredible ability to make women feel safe. He was *very* upfront with everyone that he did not want a girlfriend, but women didn’t exactly seem to mind.

*This would cause a bit of tension later when he brought me around and introduced me as his girlfriend within a month to our meeting.*

So my absolute favorite part of this story is the fact that my husband had a one night stand the night before he met me, and woke up hungover and slightly ashamed.

On his way home, he was feeling down so he stopped by his favorite museum to make him feel better…

I was on a date with myself and not exactly paying attention when a very handsome man stopped at the same exhibit as me, but I did notice his book.

“You’re reading *Infinite Jest*?” I asked.

There was a moment when we made eye contact I’ll never forget. My first thought was that he was the most attractive person I had ever seen, and the second was that he had a very comforting presence. I don’t know how to explain it, but I immediately felt relaxed around him.

“I’m attempting to,” he smiled. “I’m not quite sure I’ve figured out what this book is about.”

“If it makes you feel better, I think Wallace admitted he didn’t know what it was about.”

That’s literally it. That’s how we started. We ended up talking for an hour in front of that painting before he offered to buy me coffee. That’s also when he admitted he desperately needed coffee because he was hungover.

“I thought you looked a little disheveled. Are you on a walk of shame? In a museum?”

He sighed. “Full disclosure? Yes. I met a girl last night and I’m coming from her house. I’m really messing this up, huh?”

“Nah, I’ll give you points for honesty.”

We got coffee and talked for another half hour. I don’t even know how to describe how easy the conversation was. We kept returning to books, but we could have been talking about anything. It just all felt so natural.

“I know this is weird but would you want to keep hanging out?” He asked.

I paused. “I’m kind of on a date with myself.”

“A date with yourself?”

“Yes, I’m dating myself.”

“Is this a result of a bad breakup or something?”

I sighed. “No I… it’s a weird story.”

“I thought you were an open book.”

“Ok then. I recently stopped fucking my best friend of four years, and then kind of spiraled and hooked up with a lot of people. So, now I’m doing things differently and dating myself.”

“Oh, that’s really cool, V. Good for you. We can part ways then.”

My heart dropped at the thought of him leaving. “IF you wanted to come on the date I’m taking myself on… I think I’d be open to that. I’m not changing my plans though and they’re a little weird.”

“How weird?”

And that friends, is how I ended up with my future husband in a graveyard, eating snacks and reading.

“Do you make it a habit of hanging out in graveyards? This doesn’t freak you out?” He asked when we had settled in.

“Bro, I once fucked a girl in a graveyard.”

He laughed at that. “Seriously?”

“Am I scaring you off yet?”

“Not at all. What are you reading anyway?”

“Fairy porn.”

“Fairy porn?”

“Yeah. I had a mild porn addiction for a while so I started reading erotic stories and fantasy romance to compensate. This fairy is about to get fucked so hard.”

He gaped at me. “You had a *mild* porn addiction?”

“Oh yeah, it gets worse. I have hypersexuality disorder. I’m freaking you out, right?”

“You’re addicted to sex.”

“Yeah. You’re totally freaking out.”

“No… I’m wrapping my head around it. Is that the real reason you’re not dating?”

I sighed. “I’m not NOT dating. I’m just trying to do things differently. I want to go slower and… Be more vulnerable. That’s why I’m telling you all of this.”

“Can I say something?”

“You want to run away?”

“You’re one of the most interesting people I’ve ever met. Really. I think it takes a big person to break a pattern.”

“It’s been hard. I really miss sex.”

He sat up a little straighter. “So no sex ever again?”

I bursted out laughing. “No! God, I’m not a nun. I just want to go slower now. I want to be more intentional with it. If I met the right person and I wasn’t fucking just to fuck, I’d be down. Until then? Fairy porn.”

We got into a play fight then with him reaching for my book to “see what all the fuss is about.” This was undeniably an excuse to touch each other, and some pretty heavy flirting ensued.

*This is also when I realized my future husband gets hard very easily… He didn’t think I noticed.*

At one point our eyes locked and I turned a little read. I thought he was going to kiss me but instead he just threw my book back to me and smiled.

We didn’t read much after that. We went back to talking and I swear I have never laughed that hard in my life.

“What are you thinking?” I finally asked.

“I’m thinking I want to cook for you.”

“Really?”

“Really. But… We can’t go back to my place…. Because my ex girlfriend is kind of sleeping on my couch.”

“What?” I laughed.

“She just moved to the city and her lease doesn’t start until next month so she’s sleeping in my couch. This is probably going to ruin this, but I’m friends with all of my exes.”

I threw my head back and laughed so hard I cried.

“Oh god,” he sighed. “That’s a dealbreaker right? I’m really messing this up.”

“No, I just… I’m friends with ALL my exes too.”

Then I invited him back to my place and he accepted.

“We’re not going to have sex though,” I warned.

“V, I’m not trying to fuck you. This is just going really well and I’m not ready for it to end.”

“I think we should make out now though,” I announced as I stood up and offered him a hand.

His mouth hung open. “What?”

“I think we should make out now while we’re in public because I have a feeling it’s going to be riddled with underlying tension. It’s better to get that out of the way now, right?”

I stood and offered him my hand as he gaped at me. “Do you seriously say things like that to people?”

“What? You don’t want to make out with me?”

He stood, pushed me against a nearby crypt (*yes this really happened*), and pressed his body into mine. “Does this answer your question?” He whispered.

He put his mouth on mine as my hands went to his hair. He has very thick black hair and it’s fucking addicting to stroke. When his tongue went into my mouth, the taste of him made me literally weak in the knees. He pressed into me harder and I let out a little moan into his mouth. I ground my hips into his and felt him hard against me. His chest rubbed against mine and I moved my body up so my breasts pressed against him.

He pulled away.

“Fuck,” he groaned as he ran a hand over his head. “I’m so sorry.”

“Why?”

“You told me you wanted to take things slow and here we are….”

I laughed. “I think this is within my parameters.”

He kissed me again, harder this time. His mouth covered mine and his hands went to my hips and pulled me in. He jerked me against him and something broke inside of me.

Jesus Christ I got wet. I got so wet and tight I felt like I was being pulled to my knees. I moaned and finally pulled away.

“Ok, we have to stop.”

He laughed and turned red. “I feel bad getting turned on in a graveyard.”

“Worth it?”

“Oh yeah.”

The subway ride to my house was a mess. We kept forgetting we were not the only people on that train as we burst out laughing every five seconds and flirted like teenagers.

When I took him to my local bodega to grab a bottle of wine, the owner greeted me by name and struck up a conversation with my future husband.

“I almost fucked that guy,” I said as we left the store.

“Really?”

“Yeah, I don’t know why I just told you that.”

“What stopped you? It looked like he really liked you.”

“Honestly? He had only been with one person, his deceased wife. I didn’t want to be his second and break his heart. I wasn’t in a place to date.”

My future husband smiled. “You’re a really good person, V.”

“That’s an interesting takeaway from that story.”

He smiled and eyed me up and down. “I think it’s the right takeaway actually.”

My future husband quickly learned that I eat like a five year old boy when I offered him macaroni or chicken tenders. That’s also when I found out he was a vegan.

We ordered in.

We split the bottle of wine and ate Thai food on my living room floor. We laughed so hard at everything I swore it was like we were old friends.

The mood switched when he discovered my bookshelf. He paused and studied each book carefully, pulling them out one by one.

“Which one is your favorite?” He finally asked.

“Marilynne Robinson.”

“You’ve read Gilead?” He smiled as he found it on my shelf.

“That book kind of saved my life.”

“Really?”

“Yeah I got into a dark place once and it was the only thing that made me feel better. It kept me here.”

“Can I say something without it being weird? I know we just met.”

“Whatever, we’ve both been way too honest today anyway.”

“It might be my favorite book now too if it kept you here. Even if you never want to see me again, I’m really glad I met you.”

*I didn’t know I was going to marry him in that moment, but I knew something in me had shifted. At the very least, I knew we were about to be something serious and things were going to change.*

I stood, walked to him slowly, and let him wrap his arms around my shoulders. “I think I need to kiss you again,” I whispered.

“I think I need that too.”

“I think I need you in my bed,” I said as I slowly walked him backward into my room.

He put his mouth to my neck and kissed it softly. “Let me know if this is too much,” he breathed.

I pulled him on top of me and he kissed around my neck and shoulders. My entire body lit up as he crawled on top of me. “We have to go slow,” he said as he breathed into my skin. “I haven’t been this attracted to someone in a really long time.”

“I’m not sure I ever have,” I admitted. “But maybe we don’t have to go *too* slow.”

We started kissing as I wrapped my legs around his waist and pulled him in. His tongue slipped into my mouth and I put my hands back into his hair and tugged.

Then he rocked his hips against me and *FUCK* it felt good. The pull of my stomach made me gasp. He put his mouth to my ear and tugged on it softly. I shook and moaned again as my hand fell back above my head. He pressed his hand into mine to gently pin me to the mattress.

“Do you want me to stop?” He asked with sincerity as he watched my face contort into something that looked like pain.

“I want you to touch me the way you’d fuck me,” I breathed.

He reared his head back and smiled. “We might be here a while then because there are a lot of ways I’d like to fuck you. Rather, when it’s time, there’s a lot of ways I’m *going* to fuck you.”

My mouth fell open at his words.

*It’s always the nice guys who are the best at dirty talk. This is a remarkable pattern.*

Then he tugged my hair gently and rubbed against me so hard I saw stars. He pulled back and rocked into me again.

His dick was big. It’s hard to tell through jeans, but he was rock hard and rubbing it against me so hard that I could feel every stroke.

I told him that too.

“Has anyone ever told you that you have a very large penis?” I asked.

“Yes, but those words somehow sound better coming from you.”

“Fuck, you feel good against me.”

“I’d feel good in you too,” he said as our mouths met again.

The passion behind the next kiss is something I still think about to this day (*and get off to it*). He didn’t hold back. We made out and dry humped until we were both gasping and moaning. I put his hand to my breast and he squeezed me once over my shirt and then pulled away. He basically jumped to the other side of the bed and panted as he stared at me.

“I need a second,” he laughed. “This is a test of willpower.”

“You’re passing so far. You’ve been a perfect gentleman.”

“Not totally perfect. I’m having dirty thoughts.”

I closed my eyes and groaned. “Jesus, let’s just fuck.”

He shook his head. “We can’t.”

“Why?”

“It’s not just you who needs to go slow.”

I snorted. “Says the guy who had a one night stand last night.”

“V… I think you know why we can’t have sex.”

I stared at him for a while and understood. “We have a connection.”

“If we have sex we’re going to fall too fast.” He groaned and buried his head in his hands, “On a strictly biological level, this pains me deeply.”

“I’m the one who’s a sex addict. How do you think I feel?”

“I have to ask this because I like you too much. Please don’t be offended.”

“Alright,” I said nervously as I wrung out my hands.

“When you say you’re a sex addict, does that mean you can’t be monogamous? I’m sorry if that’s too forward, but I like you too much and need to know.”

I smiled and shook my head. “It’s never really manifested like that. It mostly means I compulsively touch myself. I get weird if I don’t get off every few hours.”

“You’ve been with me for like twelve hours.”

“Oh, I’m going to have to get myself off like ten times when you leave. You’ve given me good material.”

His eyes got big and he groaned again. “I’m torn between being very turned on by that and upset you’re not going to invite me to sleepover.”

“You want to sleepover?” I asked, genuinely shocked.

He shrugged. “Only if you want me to. Maybe I am being too forward, but I *really* like you, V. I can’t decide if you’re real. I’ve never had a day like this.”

“I’ve never had a day like this either.”

“So what about having a night like this too?”

“We could dry hump a little longer and see where this goes.”

He smirked flipped me on all fours and pulled my hips toward him. “I’d fuck you like this too,” he whispered. He rubbed himself back and forth on my ass until I had to bite my sheets to keep from crying out. He pulled my hair so I was back up to his cheek. “Oh no, I’d want to watch every second of you unraveling.”

“Want to guess what is do to you?” I whispered. I slipped his fingers into my mouth and sucked gently. I turned and watched his eyes roll into the back of his head. He let out a quick breath and started shaking as he rubbed himself harder. “Fuck, that’s so sexy.”

I sucked harder and swirled my tongue around his fingers. “I’d have you undone in seconds, you know? I don’t care how big you are, I’d take it.”

“Oh god,” he whispered as his body jerked forward.

“You can spank me if you want?” I offered.

“Jesus,” he collapsed over me and we both fell onto my bed. “Are you real?” He laughed. “I’ve never met a girl who just said things like that.”

“I really love sex.”

“Fuck,” he hit the mattress in frustration. “Ok, we have to slow down.”

“Alright. We can have that sleepover though.”

His face lit up. “Really?”

“Yeah. Just don’t cuddle me too much.”

*That damn man spooned me all fucking night.*

We got ready for bed in good spirits. He made fun of me for having an extra toothbrush and laughed when I told him I was a “very prepared slut.”

When we got into bed he pulled me into him and whispered in my ear, “Hey V?”

“Yeah?”

“I really want to take you on a date. Not just tag along on a date with yourself, but a real date. Would that be ok?”

“Yeah, it’d be ok.”

I didn’t believe in marriage until him. I had been in love many times and experienced passion deeper and more sustained than most will ever feel. I’ve suffered incredible heartbreak, whirlwind romances, and absolutely fantastic sex.

Nothing and no one has ever been anything compared to him.



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