Accidentally begged my guy friend to fuck me

I was on my stomach on a towel in a black bikini with my top untied because I hate tan lines, half reading something on my phone, half just listening to everyone talk. The bikini bottoms were doing what bikini bottoms do on a figure like mine, which is not much, and I was aware of that in the comfortable way you get when you've made your peace with having a lot of ass.

Caleb was down at the water with a couple of the guys throwing a football around in the surf. I was not paying attention to this. I was definitely not watching him come back up the beach shaking water out of his hair, board shorts low on his hips, stomach flat, shoulders broader than I remembered from the last time I'd seen him. Looking like that.

He dropped onto the towel next to mine and stole a chip from the bag by my elbow. I was still on my stomach, top untied, and when I shifted to look at him I felt the sides of it fall away and had to press back down quickly. He was very politely looking at my face when I glanced up. Almost too politely.

"Hey," I said.

"Hey," he said.

He looked away first. But not before.

I had known Caleb for four years. We had been in the same orbit the whole time, the kind of friendship that lives in the middle of a bigger group, built on long conversations at parties that neither of us ever followed up on properly. There was always something there. We both knew it and neither of us ever did anything about it. By graduation I had mostly made my peace with that.

I was aware of him the rest of the afternoon in that specific way, that low frequency thing where you know exactly where someone is at all times without being able to explain why.

We stayed out until the sun got low and then everyone migrated back up to the house for the cookout. Somebody grilled, somebody made drinks that were too strong, somebody put on a playlist that was equal parts nostalgic and embarrassing. We ate on the porch as it got dark, citronella candles, the sound of the ocean a few hundred feet away, everyone a little sun drunk and loose and happy.

It was a good night. The kind that makes you feel twenty two again for a few hours.

By the time people started peeling off to bed it was past two. I went to figure out where I was sleeping and did a quick audit of the situation which was not great. The house slept ten comfortably and there were twelve of us.

Caleb was leaning in the doorway of the last available room, which had a full bed and not much else.

He looked at me. I looked at him. I looked at the bed.

"I mean," he said, spreading his hands like it was obvious.

"Fine," I said, like I hadn't already done the math three times.

I changed into my slip in the bathroom, ivory silk, thin, hit me mid thigh, showed every curve I had and I have quite a few. My tits filled out the top of it in a way that left not much to the imagination. Climbed in on the left side. He came in a few minutes later in gray sweatpants and a faded tee shirt that fit across his shoulders in a way I clocked immediately and then chose not to think about. Smelled like bonfire and soap. Got in on the right, reached over and turned off the lamp.

"Night," he said.

"Night," I said.

I laid there in the dark for a while listening to the ocean through the open window thinking about absolutely nothing. Which is a lie.

I don't know what time it was when I woke up. Still mostly dark, that pale gray light that means it's maybe five, maybe just before, the sun not quite committing yet. The room was cool and I was warm because at some point in the night I had migrated completely across the bed and was pressed against his side, face against his chest, his arm around me loose like it had just landed there.

I was awake enough to know where I was and not awake enough to do anything sensible about it.

I shifted a little, just settling, and his arm tightened.

I tilted my face up and he was already looking down at me, eyes heavy, and then he kissed me.

Four years of almost and here we were at five in the morning with the ocean outside. I melted into him.

His hand slid down my back and found my ass through the silk and squeezed hard and pulled me against him and I felt his cock against my hip and my whole stomach dropped. Fully hard, and thick.

His hand came up and filled itself with my tit through the slip, all of it, squeezing slow, thumb dragging across my nipple until it stiffened under the silk, and I arched into his hand. The slip was thin enough that it was basically nothing between us and the weight of my chest filled his hand completely. His hands moved everywhere after that, over my wide hips, my waist, back down to my ass.

We were kissing and moving against each other and I wasn't tracking much beyond that when I felt the thin straps of the slip fall off my shoulders. The silk dropped and both my tits were just out, fully, in the gray early morning light, and he pulled back from the kiss and looked down and went very still for a second.

He looked back up at me.

Then his mouth came down on my chest, lips and tongue, moving between both sides, and I pushed my fingers into his hair and stopped thinking about anything at all.

I reached down and wrapped my hand around his cock through his sweatpants. He was soaked through the fabric already, a dark wet spot spreading through the gray cotton at the tip, and he was thick enough in my hand that my fingers didn't quite meet. I squeezed and he exhaled hard through his nose and pushed into my hand.

He reached down and shoved his sweatpants below his hips and his cock sprang free and I wrapped my hand around him skin to skin this time, thick and fully hard and slick at the tip, and stroked once slowly from base to tip and felt him twitch in my hand and heard him pull in a slow breath.

I reached down with my other hand and pulled my panties to the side and just held them there.

His forehead dropped against mine. The room was gray and still and the ocean was coming through the window and neither of us was fully awake and it felt like the specific kind of dream you're devastated to wake up from.

He shifted his hips forward and the tip of his cock touched my pussy directly and we both went completely still.

I was absolutely soaked. He felt it the second he touched me, the head of him pressing just barely against me, warm and slick, and I felt every nerve ending I had orient toward that single point of contact.

"We shouldn't," he said. Low and rough. He did not pull away.

"I know," I groaned.

A long second of neither of us moving. I held his cock against my wet pussy.

"Caleb." My voice came out smaller than I meant it to. Looking back, it was embarrassing.

"Yeah," he said.

"Please." I felt pathetic. My hips were already pressing toward him, his cock in my hand. I slid it across my clit and back down toward my wet lips. "Fuck," he said softly.

"Please," I said again, barely a whisper, my hand tightening around his cock and pulling him toward me, feeling how hard he was, feeling the slick tip of him right against my pussy. I was begging and I knew it and I kept going anyway. "Caleb please, I need it, please—"

His hips pressed forward the smallest amount. Just enough that I felt the head of his cock start to push into me, just barely, just that first stretch, and the sound I made was involuntary and desperate and I will think about it for a long time.

And then he pulled back.

I held still for a second with my eyes closed, my pussy clenching around nothing, his cock still in my hand.

Then I let my panties go.

He pulled his sweatpants back up.

We laid there breathing in the gray quiet and then without saying anything he tucked me back against his chest, my face pressed against him, my tits warm against his side, his arm around my waist, and I listened to his heart going fast under my ear.

The ocean came through the window.

When I woke up properly it was past nine. Bright, warm, smell of coffee drifting under the door, voices somewhere in the house, somebody already down on the beach.

Caleb was on his back looking at the ceiling. I was still halfway on top of him, my leg thrown over his, my head on his chest. He looked over when I moved and something passed across his face that I couldn't quite read and then he just said "coffee?" in this completely normal voice.

"Yeah," I said.

We got up and went and had coffee on the porch with everyone else and that was that.