I 20F got drunk and ruined a good friendship by sucking dick

So throwaway for obvious reasons me \[F22\] and a guy I’ve been friends with for 12 years were just hanging out and having a few drinks this past weekend.

Anyway I had friend-zoned him long ago and didn’t think we’d ever do anything like this but he mentioned he was in a dry spell. To cut a long story short he kept kind of hinting masked as a joke that I could fuck him or suck his cock.

After a few hours of him mentioning it every now and then I found myself on my knees sucking his dick.

Thing is though he started saying stuff like he knew I’d do stuff like this. He’d been waiting for years etc

He called me mean names, which I’m fine with I kinda liked it. But now it feels weird when I see him, like the friendship isn’t the same.