funny Erotic Stories

It was already too late to go to the store where Lana worked, and Airplanes went straight to the hotel where she lived. Turning off Route 17, which is also the main street of the town, onto South 8, he saw the name "Grand Inn". On a side street behind the hotel, he found a parking spot, parked, and got out of the car in an unusual state of excitement, mixed with a slight drowsiness that did not interfere, but on the contrary, made everything that happened around him look like a dream.

The warmth of the night mingled with the tart scent of the ocean breeze. From the amusement park located across the road came the screams and laughter of visitors who had not yet calmed down. From a neighboring street running along the ocean, flooded with bright yellow lights, the musical rhythms that were popular this summer could be heard coming out of the windows of passing cars in basses. Everything around was relaxed, fun and carefree.

The hotel was a two-story building in the shape of the letter... continue reading

I was back at my childhood home for a funeral. My husband had to stay behind for work, but it was nice to see the family again and spend time with old friends from high school and college as we celebrated our common friend.

When the funeral was finished I decided I wanted to go back to my dad’s house and rest.It had been a lot of traveling this month. I said my goodbyes and went back to his place.My parents have been divorced for almost 10 years now but he still lived in our old house. I went back to my old room, now a guest room, and laid on the bed.

That’s when Alton reached out to me.

Alton was a guy I met at a club and had become someone I was seeing.

He wanted to facetime.

No one was in the house and I was feeling sad, so I thought it might make me feel better.

I quickly tried to make myself look cuter and then turned on my camera. Only to be staring right at Alton’s sizable penis.

I quickly stripped, with him telling me to leave the wedding ring on, and we started to mastu... continue reading

The third day hanging around Moscow without a penny in his pocket, Igor peered enviously into the windows of foreign cars with tinted windows passing by him, trying to see the lucky ones inside. Money... Damn it, where are these notorious crazy "grandmothers", flowing, according to the provincials, into the bottomless pockets of Muscovites from all over the country? And why can't he, a healthy, smart and still young man, break off his piece from this damned metropolitan pie?

No money means nothing: no housing next month, no food for the next week, not even a ticket to your hometown. But in the notebook there is one address ...

Remembering this, Igor grinned wryly and shrugged his shoulders. Well… After all, he doesn’t foresee women in the foreseeable future either, so it doesn’t matter what to do with the liquid that has accumulated over the month and is useless, causing only pain in the groin…

To his surprise, at the family planning department of the city gynecological dispensar... continue reading

On Saturday night, I got home from work early and was gonna go to bed when I thought about sending him a pic just 'cause. I was already getting undressed for bed, so I snapped a cute little pic in just my thong, showing off my ass in the mirror and holding my boob in one hand with this pouty biting-my-lip look. Quick and easy. I sent it, threw on a t-shirt, and went to brush my teeth.

When I get back, I see a text from my friend Rachel. Rachel and this guy have names that are very similar, like off by just a few letters. (I'm changing both the names here obviously.) Rachel is a girlfriend of a girlfriend who I've hung out with a few times at bars and stuff. Nice, super cute, but we're not close or anything. She has curly light brown hair, green eyes, sort of an Anna Kendrick vibe if you want a visual.

Her text was just a picture of her waist-up, lying in her bed, naked with a finger in her teeth.

I was like... WHAT. WAIT. I scroll up. **I'D SENT THE PICTURE TO RACHEL, NOT TO MY GUY... continue reading

First of all, this isn't a flex about getting into a fight and winning. [Narrator: it is]

Up until two weeks ago, I had never been in a fight as an adult male. I wouldn't have been in THIS fight if the asshole hadn't cold-cocked me. Also, I probably wouldn't have won if the dude wasn't half drunk. So please, no /r/iamverybadass jokes. I am not a badass by any stretch of the imagination.

So a couple of Fridays back, my lovely wife and I went to a bar for drinks with a friend from her office and her (asshole) boyfriend. Now ex-boyfriend, by the way. I took an instant dislike to the dude. He was loud, opinionated in all the wrong ways (i.e. opposite of *my* opinions), treated his girlfriend like crap (made a lame joke about how one of her boobs was noticeably smaller than the other, was dismissive of her opinions, etc.). And he drank a LOT. Like it was a work/social type of thing, where my wife was trying to add a nice lady from her department into our circle of friends.... continue reading

So my friend and I had been going through really long dry spells either through COVID shielding or lack of efforts on our parts.

We recently went for a night out with a few friends and it ended with her bringing myself and a few others back to her place. Now the entire night she'd complained how she hadn't gotten any in forever and she had finally settled on a guy she planned to use to rectify this situation and had been sneaking off to kiss him when she thought no one was looking. However, he decided to leave with the rest of the group early even though she wanted him to stay. (If this ever happens to you, do not do what she did)

Because I live far away from her, when we go out, I'll usually arrange to crash in her spare room. So after he left I was teasing her about the dry spell continuing and said that if she was so desperate she may as well invite him back. So she starts laying it on thick saying that he forgot his wallet so he needed to come back to collect. Friends, this lad... continue reading

Outside the window is summer: +26, the birds are singing, people are walking, but I didn’t pass the exam. I lie on the bed and think what to do next.

"Okay, we need to take a walk, go to a cafe, drink coffee" - sounded in my head. And I started getting ready. In general, I am an optimist by nature, and therefore I decided to clear my head from bad thoughts.

Arriving at the appointed place, I ordered a latte, I was served by a nice waitress, apparently her name was Nastya, judging by the badge. She had a very cool figure: 3 breast sizes that peeped out of the neckline, slender legs and an elastic buttocks. But I noticed this later, because after placing an order, I turned on the phone and started checking social networks. Nastya brought a latte, but I did not pay attention, as my friend wrote to me. She wanted to touch me and accidentally touched the coffee that spilled on my phone. I was a little taken aback by what happened, but saying that everything was fine, I asked for another... continue reading