I have been staying up every night for two months to listen to my roommate touch herself through our shared wall and I cannot keep it inside anymore

I need to get this out because I have been sitting with it for two months and reading everyone else's posts on here finally pushed me over the edge lol.

My roommate is twenty six, she moved in with me about two months ago through a mutual friend situation, I had the spare room after my last roommate moved out and she needed somewhere affordable while she saved money after coming back to the city, and I said yes because I had met her a couple of times before and she seemed cool and I needed help with the rent, and that was supposed to be a straightforward practical decision and it has not been that at all

She is a really great roommate, clean and considerate and always pays on time, and we have gotten really close really fast which I was not expecting but which has been one of the best things about this past year, except for the part where I am now completely insane about her and do not know what to do with that information.

She is very open about sex, like very open, more than anyone I have ever lived with, she talks about her experiences casually the way most people talk about what they had for breakfast, including the times she has been with women, which she mentioned within like the first two weeks and which I have been thinking about since, and I think she knows I like hearing about those stories because she keeps telling them and watches my face while she does and I have to concentrate very hard on keeping my expression normal lmaooo.

She also walks around the apartment constantly in just a little tank top and underwear, which should be fine, it is her home too, except she has an incredible body and I have to actively remind myself not to stare every single time she wanders into the kitchen in the morning and I am just trying to make coffee and exist normally

The thing that started everything happened about three weeks after she moved in. I woke up at around one in the morning and heard something through the wall we share, and it took me a few seconds to register what it was, moaning, low and rhythmic, and underneath that the faint buzzing of something, and I lay there in the dark realising what I was listening to and feeling my pussy get wet before I had even fully processed the situation.

I grew up sharing a room with my cousin for years so I know how to be quiet and I know how to take care of myself without making a sound, and I lay there in my bed with my hand between my thighs listening to her through the wall and took care of myself and came twice, the second time right as she got loud, like actually loud, this long drawn out fuck that she did not bother keeping quiet at all, and I had to press my face into my pillow and I came so hard my legs were shaking.

This has happened every few nights since then and every single time I hear her start I am wet within seconds and I stay up and touch myself listening and I have not once fallen asleep before she finishes, and I do not masturbate to anything else anymore, just this, just lying in the dark listening to her through the wall and getting myself off to the sounds she makes when she comes.

I do not know if she knows. That is the thing that is driving me crazy, she is clearly not trying to be quiet, but I cannot tell if that is because she is comfortable here and does not think about it, or because she knows exactly what she is doing to me, and either option makes me want to go and knock on her door and I have not done that yet because I am a coward

What I have decided is that tonight when I hear her close her door I am going to stop being quiet about it on my end, I am going to use my vibrator and I am going to be as loud as I actually want to be and see what she does, and I am so nervous about this that I have written this entire confession while sitting on the couch next to her watching a film and squeezing my thighs together, and she is just sitting there completely normal and I am absolutely losing my mind

If she knocks on my door tonight I will report back.